This slammed Audi A4 Allroad makes no sense

For some unholy reason, American enthusiasts just don’t buy fast or interesting wagons. Instead, they’d rather have unnecessarily large SUVs and/or silly jacked up wagons. The latter are basically wagons, just with slightly taller ride heights and some (fake) rugged body cladding. The Audi A4 Allroad is one such jacked up wagon and it’s a car that’s remarkably popular in America, despite our hatred for the forbidden “station wagon”. The main reason is because us ‘Mericans love to pretend that we’re active and have interesting lifestyles. We don’t. But that reason alone is why this slammed A4 Allroad makes absolutely no sense.

If you’re buying an Audi A4 Allroad, you’re trying to tell the world that you’re active; you like cycling, hiking and smoothies made from leaves. However, if you slam a car, you’re saying that you like aesthetics and style over function or practicality. The two are polar opposites. So why is this B8-generation Audi A4 Allroad absolutely slammed on Vossen wheels?

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Now, it sort of makes sense when you think about the fact that Audi doesn’t really sell Avants (wagons) in America. So maybe this customer bought an A4 Allroad because they wanted an A4 Avant but slammed it, so it basically just became an A4 Avant. However, there are two problems with that logic: 1) they left the pseudo-rugged body cladding on it, so it still looks like an Allroad. 2) Audi did sell a B8-gen A4 Avant in America (!). This customer could have just bought one of those and slammed it. Why buy an Allroad and slam that?

It would look so much better, and make so much more sense, if it were just a regular A4 Avant. And I’m sure there’s a way to convert and Audi A4 Allroad into an Allroad, by just removing the body cladding and getting some normal Audi A4 fenders and whatnot.

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So I’m sort of confused from this car and it seems to defy any sort of logic or sense.

CategoriesA4 Allroad
Nico DeMattia

I've been in love with cars since I was a kid, specifically German cars. Now I get to drive them talk about them on the internet.