There’s No Debate, Audi — Ditch the Fake Exhaust Tips ASAP

Most modern Audis are great looking cars. In fact, the four-ringed brand is on a bit of a roll, lately, pumping out some truly pretty machines. However, almost all of them have one wart, one flaw that’s really hard to overlook — fake exhaust tips.


These fake exhaust tips have frustrated car enthusiasts the world over ever since Audi started slapping them on the back of its cars. We don’t even remember where it all started, all we know is that many modern Audis sport little black plastic covers, that look like exhaust tips from a hundred yards away, instead of actual real exhaust tips.


These aren’t even the fake stylish surrounds that have a real circular exhaust tip inside of them. Nope, these are just black plastic covers in the rear bumper, where real exhaust tips should go.


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No one likes these things. In fact, since they’ve been stuck to the back of modern Audis, I’ve heard not one positive thing about them. They’re borderline offensive, too, as they’re flat-out dishonest. If Audi thinks seeing real exhausts isn’t premium enough for its standard cars (‘S’ and ‘RS’ cars get real exhausts) then just make the bumper flush, with nothing at all. Don’t try and trick us, Audi, it’s insulting.


However, there may be some hope on the horizon. We just learned that there’s a bit of internal debate among Audi executives about whether or not to ditch the fake exhausts tips currently brandished by so many modern Audi products. Half of the execs want to ditch them and go back to real exhaust tips, while the other half is keen to stick with these black plastic slaps in the face.


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If you ask us, there’s no debate — ditch the fake tips. There’s nothing good about them; they look cheap because they’re just cheap, scratchy black plastic, they’re dishonest about what they are and they don’t even fool anyone anyway. What’s the advantage to them?


I’ve heard that some Audi execs like them because the bumper doesn’t get dirty from filthy exhaust gases coming through it. What was so hard about getting a car wash?


If anything, it’s probably a waste of money. Audi’s stamping the rear bumper anyway, to fit the plastic bits in there, and now has to pay to put plastic in that hole rather, than just let the exhaust run through it. The exhaust pipes are still there, just bent downward behind the bumper. Is it really that much of a savings to shorten the exhaust pipe an inch and fill the hole with plastic? Probably not.

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This seems like a no-brainer. Car enthusiasts the world over have been complaining about these plastic monstrosities since they originally debuted. And it’s not just on Audi’s either, we’re not just picking on them. Many Mercedes-Benz models have the same offensive fakery and fans complain about them, too.


So it seems as if nobody likes fake exhausts, they probably don’t save enough money to warrant their existence anyway and they’re just plain dishonest. As car enthusiasts, we can handle a lot of dumb corporate crap but dishonesty is unacceptable. Ditch the fakery, Audi, as soon as absolutely possible.

CategoriesA8 Editorial Q5
Nico DeMattia

I've been in love with cars since I was a kid, specifically German cars. Now I get to drive them talk about them on the internet.